Travel Tips
Over the last 20 years, we have seen the rise of a new form of human aggression known commonly as road rage. Most of us who drive on busy roads have, at one time or another, been exposed to aggression from our fellow motorists and many of us have been gripped by this particular kind of madness and expressed aggression ourselves. Several characteristics distinguish road rage from other forms of aggression. Firstly, the moment someone gets into a car they are surrounded by a metal skin, which immediately changes their psychology - they feel protected and it is if the car has became another body for them. Secondly, they can see out from this body and control its limbs (tyres) by various connections (steering wheel, brake, and so on) and they can, to a degree, express themselves with their car's instruments (there is even a rudimentary form of facial and vocal expression in the form of the horn and flashing lights). They can also express themselves by the usual methods of facial expression, body language and voice, but all from the safety of their new metal body. Lastly, when people drive there is a tendency, especially in cities, to be in a hurry and this haste leads to emotional agitation, which leads to more haste which in turn leads to people making ridiculous decisions such as rushing to get through traffic lights, speeding and cutting margins between cars, pedestrians and cyclists. And all for what? To get to their destination 20 seconds earlier or to hurry only to wait at the next light.
How to prevent road rage in ourselves? The sense of safety that the metal skin provides gives people the confidence to attack and berate others at a level that they would never dare if they were face to face with them. This expression then gives rise to anger in another motorist and we soon have an escalating situation. The communication that goes on between cars is riddled with what is commonly called 'projection'. For example, perhaps we see a car moving extremely slowly in front of us and we immediately assume that the person is a dawdler and a fool so we start berating them. Perhaps honking our horn, we angrily move to overtake them and, as we pull up beside them, give them one of our best angry stares. However, the whole of our action is based on the assumption that we know the motivations of the person driving the other car. It might turn out that their car is malfunctioning, or they have only just started to drive, or perhaps they are slowing down to manoeuvre into a parking space, and so on. The combination of projection and the readiness to resort to anger can quite literally be deadly. An angry person expressing himself or herself through a 3-ton piece of metal is a very dangerous proposition; misjudgments in speed, manoeuvring and braking occur, sensitivity to the outside world is cut down and sooner or later somebody gets hurt. Also, there are times when anger reaches such a pitch that the drivers stop, get out of their cars and argue face to face, which often leads to vicious physical violence which in turn can lead to the death or serious maiming of one or more of the participants. What is particularly ridiculous about the situation is that it is often the result of a simple misunderstanding and the parties do not actually want to fight but cannot back down because the level of escalation has gone too far.
Understanding road rage in the way described above can help to protect us from both the Yin (being on the receiving end) and Yang (sending aggression to others) perspectives, in order o prevent road rage. When somebody sends you aggression, try not to be caught by it; instead, let it bounce off your window! Remember the action/reaction pattern and connect to the sensation of your hands on the steering wheel, your spine against the seat, and attack them with a wave and a smile or something similar. If you sense the reaction of fear in your body, use your Natural Breath Cycle to regain your homeostasis as you do not want this reaction to cause an accident 50 yards down the road. Never get out of your car unless absolutely necessary or if you want to practise your self-defence techniques - remember what is at stake and that the situation can turn ugly in an instant. Whilst riding along the road recently I noticed the car in front going across the small roundabout and at that moment, a scooter cut in front of the car. The driver of the car immediately started honking his horn and angrily overtook the scooter and forced it to a stop by stopping at an angle in front of it and hence reducing the space between the car and the concrete reservation in the road's centre. The car driver got out of his car and started to yell abuse at the scooter driver; he was a well-built young man who obviously felt like he could handre himself in this situation.
Unfortunately, the car driver had not realised that the scooter was travelling in a pack and soon found himself surrounded by an indignant mob of scooter-driving youths It was obvious from his body language that the car driver was experiencing fear, yet at the same time he was trying to maintain the front of being a tough guy. The youths closed in around him and one of them gave him an exploratory shove whilst the others began to berate him. Still acting the tough guy, the car driver retreated a few feet to his open car door then got in and slammed the door shut. That might have been the end of it but he foolishly floored the accelerator, leaving the youths in a cloud of acrid burned rubber from his tyres. The youths gave chase and, unforeseen by the driver 50 yards down the road the car had to stop in a queue of traffic. The youths caught up and started to smash his car up using their helmets, and this time the driver did not get out of his car and thought he was safe until a crash helmet smashed through the sunroof, cutting him badly. This is an excellent example of how some bad decisions taken in anger can escalate out of control. If you feel anger and indignation rising in your body and you are in danger of 'blowing your lid', try to remember what is at stake. Remember your overall focus and do not be pulled off course - it is not worth going to prison for or losing something that you truly value. Connect to your five points, breathe and in no time at all you will have forgotten all about the 'idiot' in the other vehicle.
Air rage is also escalating in our society. When people travel on planes there is always an underlying level of excitement and fear; the seasoned traveller is not affected as much as the annual holiday traveller but excitement and fear are usually always there to some degree or another. For this reason it is important to bear in mind the Action/Reaction Cycle for everyone will react slightly differently in airports and on planes than in their daily lives. People tend to become indignant quicker on planes, mostly because when they fly they feel slightly more important than usual and therefore there is a tendency to be more judgmental of others. The vast majority of air-rage incidents on planes involve alcohol consumption. Alcohol behaves slightly differently in the bloodstream because of the changing air pressure inherent in flying but unfortunately this simple fact is lost on most drinkers and hence they do not see the changes in their behaviour until it is too late. If you should come into proximity of overtly violent behaviour whilst flying, be aware that the tendency to panic will be much more likely in yourself and those around you. For this reason, if you have to deal with someone being aggressive then always allude to a higher power; for instance, remind them of the severe attitude that the police and judicial system will take to their behaviour.
Using Noisy neighbours to Observe Your Boiling Point
Noisy neighbours offer you a chance to observe the battle between action and non-action that can rage within. This scenario also offers us a chance to observe our irritation and anger beginning to 'boil'. To start with, a noise that a neighbour is making will be simply irritating to us as we will tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and wait to see whether it disappears. However, if the noise continues then our anger will begin to grow and we will usually start to complain aloud to others or ourselves. At this point, we have the opportunity to see ourselves as we begin to be taken over by our anger. This is usually when internal conversation begins to weigh up the merits of various courses of action such as banging on the wall, calling the police, making a loud noise ourselves in retaliation or going next door and ringing their door bell. If you choose direct confrontation then do not go around to their door and scream at them, but control your anger and inform them of the problem (they may not even know they were disturbing you and be apologetic); you do not want to start a conflict where there does not need to be one. If they persist with the disturbance, then it is a good idea to use official channels such as the police or an environmental health officer to make them see sense before any further direct confrontation is initiated.
For more information about how to prevent road rage or air rage, please check out our blog: http://martialart520.blogspot.com/