Humor

Re: Anyone got a good clean joke about retirement? -- The Arrogant One

DEFINITION OF RETIREMENT Monday through Friday: Faithfully watch Judge Judy, Hawaii Five-0, Perry Mason, Little House on the Prarie, Quince, etc., etc. Saturday and Sunday: rest

Teachers & kids jokes -- answers.yahoo.com

What’s the difference between a headteacher and a packet of toffees? People like toffees What did one maths book say to the other? “Boy, have I got problems” The first form were being taught to say ...

Harry Potter series: Good news/Bad News joke -- answers.yahoo.com

Add another line or so ... copy the line before you to continue the joke. ________________________________ Good News: Bertie Bots has a new flavour. Bad News: It was suggested by Looney Luna Lovegood ...

100 ways to order a pizza the fun way -- answers.yahoo.com

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where applicable. ...

For Teachers! Any funny stories you yould like to share? -- answers.yahoo.com

Kids say and do the darndest things. What are some funny things that have happened in your own classroom? What have you heard kids say that made you and your co-teachers laugh? RSS2JAVA

Need a joke? -- answers.yahoo.com

Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems. Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! Because they're st##id, that's why. That's ...

English Lesson 2? - (joke) -- answers.yahoo.com

the teacher asks the class to make a sentence with the word 'fascinate' in it. Little Mary says, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." ...

Re: English Lesson 2? - (joke) -- Ann & Warren

Funny ,it make me laugh especially when i had a busy day.

Jokes For Jay Leno: Celebrity Jokes -- John T Jones, Ph.D.

I’ve noted that Jay Leno is still hurting for jokes. This is the third of my helpful articles providing original jokes to poor Ol’ Jay. This time I’ve decided to use one of Jay’s favorite topics, ...

My Favorite Top 10 Comedy TV Shows -- Paul Venier

Well, being a child of the 50's and 60's, I can definitely say that I have been watching, absorbing and enjoying Comedy TV Shows pretty much since their inception. I can also say that, beyond ...

The Power Of Fun -- TheDream.com

“Man, I wish we could get rid of him. What a pain in the butt!” exclaimed the president of my burgeoning natural foods company. “Yeah, I wish! But we can’t. He brings in too much money. The owner ...

Humor – Our Sixth Sense To Overcome Life's Troubles -- Doug Dvorak

Many human beings believe we only have five senses, sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. But I believe our higher power has given us a Sixth Sense - the connective power of humor, to reach into ...

Laughter Alone Is The Solution - No Jokes -- Sebastien Gendry

Can one be happy and stay positive in such a stressful and challenging world? My friends and I regularly answer to the top of our lungs with an affirmative “yes!” at the end of every laughter session ...

Retirement Jokes -- Kevin Stith

Retirement is a very crucial phase in a person's life and it needs to be taken in a lighter vein. Most people feel grouchy and uncertain about life after retirement. Retirement ought to be ...

Why Wait For Someone Else To Create Really Funny Jokes? -- Graham Parry

Let's face it, we all love a laugh. We need funny events, funny jokes, comedy shows, cartoons, or even just listening to someone with an infectious laugh, because when we laugh it's ...

Humor In Relationships -- Michele Rogers

A good laugh never killed anyone. Well at least none that have been reported. Besides doctors say now a days that it can bring down blood pressure and sure make one feel a lot better. Besides ...

Louse Joke -- Robin T. Day B.Sc. M.Sc. B.Ed.

A louse (or flea) woke up one evening only to find his human had died! ``That´s just my typical bad luck``, he complained,`` I wake up hungry and dinner is cold!`` Copyright Robin Tim Day Feb. 27 ...

What do you say to an Octopus? -- Robin Tim Day BSc MSc BEd.

hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello

Jest Practices: Best Practices for Humor in the Workplace -- Craig Harrison

Most agree that humor in the workplace can have beneficial effects. Yet not all humor is good humor. The challenge: how to interject appropriate humor and fun into our serious jobs without hurting ...

Standup Comedians Its Not Just Jokes -- David Fishman

Some people might say you are witty. When making a joke your friends seem to laugh. It seems it is something you take pleasure in doing and when people chuckle sometimes it is the ultimate prize. You ...

Why Do College Comedians Suck? -- Brandon Mendelson

In November of 2001, I found myself standing in front of at least fifty Alfred State College students who were attending my comedy show. After the President of the college, Bill Rezak, decided not to ...

Top Three Things Speakers You Can Learn From Stand-Up Comedians -- Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant

A duck and a platypus walked into a bar… Starting your presentation off with a joke can be a good way to grab your audience’s attention. But there are three other really good lessons you can learn ...

The World's First Comedian? -- Rix Quinn

If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must be sincerely old. That’s because he appeared around 400 B.C., and back then the videos were pretty bad. This amazing Greek dramatist knew how to ...

Stand Up Comedian or Bubble Blower? -- Matt Canham

I got an email from a friend of mine here not so long ago. He is late 20s - a few years younger than me - and in this email, he told me how he had taught himself to swim. He explained in great detail ...

How to Unleash Your Inner Comedian -- Doug Stevenson

Where did we learn that we have to be serious all the time to be taken seriously? In my experience, it’s just not true. When people laugh, they learn. With this in mind, let’s explore how you can be ...

Lesson from Improv Comedy: Have More Fun! -- Avish Parashar

One of the most powerful ways to improve the quality of your work, relationships, and life, is to have more fun. And this doesn’t mean just having fun in your free time, when you are away from work. ...

Life Is A Great Joke -- Arvind Katoch

Like is a great joke most of the times, however the problem is that most of people live this joke very seriously. Life is given to us by God for enjoying and creating fun in life. Whereas we all see ...

Re: Life Is A Great Joke -- Larrrie White

Hello I love what you have to say in your piece. I am 52 years old and I am just discovering some of the things you say. Love Soul Bro

Valentine's Day Jokes -- Sean Carter

If you are looking for a few good laughs on Valentine's Day, then some Valentine's Day jokes are just right for you. Laughter is always a good medicine and bet you know it. So if you are ...

Laugh and the Work World Laughs With You -- Craig Harrison

Many of today's work environments are rife with moody bosses and co-workers, repetitive tasks and unpredictable market pressures. Stress abounds. Managers often tell me they can’t afford the time ...

Jest Practices: Best Practices for Humor in the Workplace -- Craig Harrison

Most agree that humor in the workplace can have beneficial effects. Yet not all humor is good humor. The challenge: how to interject appropriate humor and fun into our serious jobs without hurting ...

Black Friday -- C Weaver

Another Thanksgiving meal devoured and here I sit with a back that is thrown out. I would love to be able to tell you that I injured my lumbar region playing a game of full contact football with a ...

Laughing All the Way to Keep the Doctor Away -- Wain Roy

No one on earth would love to visit a doctor in all his sanity. But no matter how much we hate to knock at the Doc’s door, something or the other takes us right there. And the visits increase with ...

Growing Old In A Red Miata -- Tim Knox

I just had a birthday. Let me correct that: I just had ANOTHER birthday. Before you start congratulating me on making it through yet another year with most of my hair and a fair number of my own ...

A Christmas Of Good Intentions -- Tim Knox

If the Christ child had been born in a mall instead of a manger, we would not be celebrating Christmas today. The Three Wise Men would have never found a place to park. Then again, everyone knows you ...

The Four Letters Between PG & R -- Tim Knox

When I was a kid, there were certain words you just didn't say in front of your parents, or any grownup suspected of being a parental snitch. Swear words, my mama called them, cuss words, words ...

Fall Flings -- Bridgitte Williams

Fall is a wonderful time of year. The weather is usually pleasant and mild. The leaves change colors and give us a free show that only nature can provide. The view is spectacular. Some people get to ...

Humor Makes It Happen -- Gary Le Mon

I’m often asked, “How important is humor in a Safe Money Seminar? Can’t I just deliver the content without trying to get laughs?” Yes you can. But in the words of Dr. Charles Jarvis, one of the great ...

Too Much Thinking Syndrome -- Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant

Too Much Thinking Medical researchers have not yet identified it, but I'm sure I have a disease called Too Much Thinking Syndrome or TMTS. The symptoms are easy to identify: no matter what ...

Learning From Mistakes: Terrible Superhero Costumes -- Jordan Marston

If you are getting ready for Hallowe’en or just getting dressed in the morning, here are a few terrible superhero costumes that can teach us all a valuable lesson. 1. The Falcon The Falcon, Captain ...

Those Pants Won't Dance -- Bridgitte Williams

I was shopping with a friend the other day and saw some nice dress pants that I really liked. I hurried over to the rack to find my size and held them up proudly for her approval. I was not prepared ...

Monstrous Trivia -- Deanna Mascle

1. The Abominable Snowman, Yeti, Bigfoot, and Sasquatch appear in one form or another in which epics? A. Ancient Sumaria epic B. Russian literature C. Anglo-Saxon literature D. Greek mythology E. All ...

The Pepperoni Conspiracy -- Patricia Nordman

One long night while investigating a San Diego psychiatric hospital for medical insurance fraud, dozens of FBI agents had worked up an appetite. So an agent called a nearby pizza parlor for delivery. ...

Code of Ethical Patient Behavior -- Patricia Nordman

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT. Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity. 2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES. Your doctor ...

When Your Feeling As Old As The Adage -- Leeuna Foster

I'm nearly as old as the adage, "you're only as old as you feel". Well, that's how I felt this morning, anyway. I started out the day feeling quite ancient. Like maybe I should go look at ...

Top 10 Ways To Fail Your Driving Test -- Kevin Gallen

1) Challenge the instructor to a drag race at Deadmans Curve after the test finishes 2) Insist on playing your own mix tape really loudly while driving 3) Rev the engine and beep the horn furiously ...

For Parents Weary of the Green -- Mary Fagan

Throughout the process of teaching our children about personal finance, parents have the opportunity to learn even more about saving money than the children. To protect yourself from the erosion of ...

Riddles That Make You Smile -- Steve Gillman

Most riddles are a form of lateral-thinking puzzle. To get them, you have to move laterally in your mind, away from the expected line of thought. This is especially true of funny riddles. What did ...

Humor Helps Us All to Cope With the Aging Process -- Jerry Aragon

Time has flown by so fast for me, that I worry about it! Now, in my early 60's, it just seems like yesterday, that I was in the Air Force (on our side), and I was sitting around with some friends ...

Beware Of The Clergy! -- Andrew Routledge

Years ago I spent a lot of my time working as a wedding photographer. It never ceased to amaze me the type of things that you get to see at weddings when you are neatly hidden away behind the camera. ...

Fear or No Fear? -- Pam Sekula

It is your choice, is it not? The choice you have made after a process of consideration and thought-full deliberation. A choice that is correct and fitting for who you are, what you know, and what ...

How Much Do You Know About Halloween? -- S. Roberts

How much do you know about the spooky holiday of Halloween? As you probably know, Halloween is celebrated on the 31st October and the name Halloween descends from the old name Hallows Eve, the night ...

Online Hype Is Getting Funnier -- Richard Wall

I am getting more and more 'be-a-millionaire-in-6-weeks' emails in my inbox. The Internet makes MLM hype travel faster; at least it's funnier than it used to be. I feel ready for another ...

5 Reasons Why You Should Immediately Quit Your Day Job -- Timothy Ward

Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at ...

Funny Videos- Why Funny Videos Are So Popular? -- CD Mohatta

Small video clips that evoke immediate laugher are becoming a rage on the Internet. People are creating and uploading their own humor. Everybody is downloading these videos. Why are funny videos such ...

5 Funny Love Poems -- Art Hill

Funny Love Poems When most people think of love poems, they think of serious and soulful expressions of passion. Long sonnets by Shakespeare or romantic poems by Browning and Lord Byron are the norm ...

What You Need To Know To Become A Comedian -- David Fishman

People say you’re funny. You’re always making people laugh. It’s something you enjoy doing and when people laugh it is the ultimate reward. You fell like you understand comedy, and now you want to ...

Halloween Tricks for Trick or Treaters -- Suie Roberts

Want play a trick on those, Trick or Treating rascals that call on your house this Halloween? We have the perfect Trick or Treat, treat - Chocolate covered brussel sprouts! We all know how much ...

Inspirational and Humorous Thoughts on Life -- Bruno Baceli

Life is the great mystery for you and me. Frankly, it can get a bit complex, but at least there is reassurance in the fact few seem to have figured it out. Inspirational and Humorous Thoughts on Life ...

10 Second Classics -- Jerie

Originally printed in the North Grenville Newsletter, September 2006 10 Second Classics By: Jerie Shaw It is almost inevitable that any September issue of a youth page will include the word. It's ...

How To Be A Modern-Day Fictional Heroine -- Laurel Osterkamp

It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you ...

August Arcana -- Deanna Mascle

1. Although it is the eighth months in the Gregorian Calendar, August was originally what month in the Roman Calendar? A. Sixth B. Seventh C. Eighth D. Ninth A. Sixth TOPICS: It was originally known ...

Experts Use Ten Simple Concepts: #5; Have a Conversion Experience -- Drew Kittinger

An expert is useless unless he or she is credible. Credibility comes through any number of ways, none of which actually have to be based on reality. Once again, perception is King. I said that ...

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy -- Ailsa Forshaw

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy (or Girl... Or at least Make Sure they're a Good Money Manager!! ha,ha!) Here are some little tips so you can at least spot a wealthy (or soon-to-be-wealthy) guy: 1. If ...

Humor and Your Relationship -- Michael Russell

What is it about Humor that can really get things going? Have you ever been in a workplace meeting where everyone is "brainstorming" some new idea? Everything is going stagnant and nothing is getting ...

Humor - Unintentional Humor -- Michael Russell

It's one thing to laugh at something that's meant to be funny. After all, that's what joke writers, cartoonists, sitcom writers and the like want us to do. If we don't laugh at their ...

Humor - No Sense Of -- Michael Russell

You've heard the old phrase, "No sense of humor". We use it every time we tell somebody a joke and they don't laugh. Maybe you've just witnessed something funny, like a person tripping ...

Everything is funny as long... -- ek

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

300-Hundred Pound Bear Flees 10-Pound Cat -- Tom Attea

What happens when you're a 10-pound cat, cavorting in your backyard, and a 300-pound black bear decides to cavort there, too? If you're a cat named Jack, you attack the bear. At least, ...

Humor: The TOP 50 WAYS to Survive College for the First-Time-Off-To-College Kid -- Johnnie Lewis

1. Never miss a meal – you might regret it later that hour. 2. Park your car accessibly close. 3. Don’t park in timed zones (2 hour, etc.) – parking overtime adds up. 4. Don’t park in No Parking ...

Old Lady, like a Fox -- Patsy

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding. Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older ...

Doctor and Lawyer -- Robin

Joke of the Day A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip ...

Good News Bad News -- Robin

A nurse came into the hospital room and said to a worried patient, "I've got some good and some bad news." "Tell me the bad news first", blurted the terrified man. "Very well", said the nurse, ...

Praise the Lord! -- Patsy D.

Joke of the Day There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and Shouts praise the Lord!? Now the atheist yells back, ...

Exactly What Does "Stand Down" Mean? -- Tom Attea

While we’re certain that the phrase "stand down," which we hear with unaccustomed frequency in reference to our someday departure from Iraq, has a long and venerable history, we still cannot help but ...

New Dracula Musical To Close, Except On Nights With Full Moon -- Tom Attea

Lestat, the new musical about vampires, if the mind can conceive of such an existent, having been sucked dry at the box office, is performing the most welcome service it has since its debut. It’s ...

Stand Up Comedienne - Gagging For A Joke -- http://jesterminute.com/

What type of person sees the funny side of a joke or gag told by a stand up comedienne, what type of person doubles over with laughter after the punch line of a joke has been delivered? What kind of ...

Humor - Appropriate For Work? -- Michael Russell

Very few people really enjoy going to their jobs. Let's face it, most bosses are a pain, the work isn't very interesting and even if it is, after a while it gets routine. The days are long ...

A random joke about lawyers or the legal profession (updated continuously) -- chooselaw.com

Humor - Computers 4 Beginners -- Robin Day

Some folk ain't joined the computer revolution (like me). They are behind the times so I have drawn up a list to help ya along. 1.Mainframe This is the great big frame that goes around all the ...

Jokes, The World's Best Medicine -- Boyd Troublerr - MD

What were the last jokes that made you roll around on the floor because you were laughing so hard? Did it involve a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer? Was it on a TV show, or part of a stand-up comedy ...

You're Not On Mute, You Know -- Constance Weygandt

I am a multitasker. That is why I love the mute button when on a conference call in my home. It allows me to get a few small tasks done, let my dog in and out of the house and keep a running ...

The Funniest People Of All Time -- Michael Russell

As a race, we've been laughing at one thing or another for a very long time. The number of comic acts that have come and gone over the ages is staggering. Some were good, some were not so, but ...

Humor in 60 seconds -- Dr. Xanax

What is the purpose of Humor or Laughter? It is very difficult to define humour or how it functions. First of all you need wit (cognitive experience) for good humour, then amusement/irony (emotional ...

Funny Things We Dream -- Drew Vics

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now ...

Funny Sayings- Simply Bad Life Tips -- Boaz Ben Dov

Do you ever ask yourself why did I get out of bed today? Is this all there is to life? And where the hack I left my car keys? Don't despair; it's not too late to turn your life around! Well, ...

Discover the Web of Funny Domain Names -- Gautam Dev

Recently I wanted to see how many web sites have funny or interesting domain names. I was motivated to do this after reading an article on CNN about milliondollarhomepage.com. What an idea, I thought ...

7 Funny Replies That Work Online! -- Ovi Dogar

If you have spend some time talking online, you know there are some question that women ask you all the time. How to answer to these question to make sure that you are getting her attention and ...

What Sex Means to Old People: Funny Things They Say -- John T Jones, Ph.D.

Old folks aren’t always up for sex. Old women are often against it and old men are often for it. Here are some of the things they say: Things Said by Old Women 1. What’s that you want to do, Honey? ...

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue: Who Cares?! -- Pamela Beers

Is your barn/house cat your real significant other? Are you tired of all the delusions about finding the perfect mate? I can answer, “yes” to both of these questions. I am just the curmudgeonly sort ...

Laughter and Humor -- Katheryn Hoban

Laughter is a wonderful music to the soul. It is very contagious and affectionate. Children’s laughter is so much fun to hear. To see their faces smiling, and their whole bodies engaged, is a ...

Junk In The Trunk -- Pamela Beers

Teenagers have a language all their own. Occasionally, I have an opportunity to work with them either individually or in small groups. Most of them feel compelled to tell me about their day and some ...

Strange Encounters With Hollywood Legends -- Stephen Schochet

Meeting famous people is often a surreal experience for both parties. In 1956 when Elvis Presley arrived in Hollywood he and his entourage stayed at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. One day he got into ...

Don't You Know Who I Am? -- Stephen Schochet

One dilemma that the super famous face is balancing the needs of privacy and recognition. One time in New York an unnoticed Marilyn Monroe was walking down Madison Avenue accompanied by Eli Wallach. ...

Marriage, Hollywood Style -- Stephen Schochet

Britney Spears' rapid walk down the aisle and subsequent annulment continued a long line of wild marriages in Tinseltown. The legendary union that began it all was between Silent Film Icons ...

50 Things to do to your Boss that are Fun for you, but not for them -- Dawnell Harrison

1. You’re eavesdropping and you hear your boss has reservations at his favorite restaurant. You know, the one you can’t afford. Call them back and cancel his reservations – say you’re his wife. 2. ...

Special Delivery! Tips for Improving Your Humor -- Tom Antion

In Fun Sigmund Freud wrote: "The most favorable condition for comic pleasure is a generally happy disposition in which one is in the mood for laughter." This concept is called "in fun." If you want ...

Top 10 ways to introduce a little excitement into your workplace -- www.OfficeComedy.com

10. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) 9. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Then wear them one day after your boss does. (This is ...

Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2 -- www.OfficeComedy.com

10. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up and apologize profusely. 9. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the table, turn each one ...

Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 1 -- www.OfficeComedy.com

10. Take notes in finger paint. 9. Bring a huge jar of Vaseline to the meeting. Display it prominently and keep muttering the words “I came prepared” 8. Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 ...

Life In The Comic Zone -- Stephanie West Allen

A Joking Matter A key element of humor is the unexpected. Look at jokes. Jokes are often based on reversal. Reversal is an unexpected shift in the point of view of the person hearing the joke. The ...

Get a Laugh and Make the Sale -- Ron Sathoff and Kevin Nunley

When one survey asked women what they liked best about the man of their dreams, most replied "he makes me laugh." We don't often think of laughter as one of life's most important necessities, ...

Put Down That pencil -- Jim Henderson

The occupant inside the barricaded room defiantly replies, I’m not giving up! Moments later a squad a black uniformed men in combat boots burst into the room amid a shower of splinters. The remnants ...

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players -- Desiree Bruyere

10. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric piano have in common. Answer: Both suck when you plug them in. 9. What does a piano player dream about? Answer: Sheet music. 8. What do you get when you ...

The Bad, The Loud, And The Proud -- Tyler Brooker

I really like it when I see a car, looking terrible, old, rusted, and dirty, with the speakers just booming. HAH! What a way to make my day. It is clear where some peoples priorities lie. Most of the ...

Amazing Trivia Part 1 -- Jan Michaels

I admit it .. I LIKE trivia, tho it serves no purpose for me since I can never remember any to bring up in conversation. But still, it is fun, so I've created this list of amazing trivia that I ...

You may be in love if... -- Jan Michaels

One of the most common human experiences that two or more (depending on how ambitious you are) people can share is love. But, it’s not always easy to tell if you are in like, lust or full blown, ...

Reading Tabloid Headlines At Supermarket Checkout Counters -- Tom Attea

Surely, one of the most underestimated trivial sources of amusement in America is the cursory perusal of tabloid headlines while waiting to be checked out at your favorite supermarket. Here we learn ...

Butt of the Joke -- Cheng Guan Kher

In every form of humor, be it a visual gag, a comic-strip, a sketch, a one-liner or a full routine, there's always a target or a victim. The butt of the joke. as we popularly called it, can be a ...

Avoid Cliches And You Miss The Joke! -- Cheng Guan Kher

"Avoid cliches" - that's what would-be writers are always being warned. But in comedy writing, CLICHES offer a rich source of humor. In fact many cliches can be easily and directly used as ...

Tax Quotes and Jokes for Tax Season -- Richard Chapo

Like death, paying taxes is inevitable. In the case of most Americans, tax season is just around the corner. If only paying taxes was so easy. As you begin pulling out those receipts, the eraser and ...

How Many Men Does It Take . . . Top 12 Men's Jokes -- Don Doman

I get a kick out of men's jokes. I think there is possibly a kernel of truth to each one, even though I know they don't apply to me . . . well, not everyone, anyway. Here are my top 12 ...

Jokes Are Better In Context -- Julie Hopkins

Have you ever attempted to give some kind of a joke, for example at the beginning of a presentation, only to have it fall on what seems like terribly deaf ears? You are not alone. Depending on the ...

It's No Joke - It's the Audience! -- Cheng Guan Kher

Let's define-what is a joke? Simply anything that makes people(audience) laugh. It can be merely a word, a smirk, a raise of the eyebrows or even a momentary silent pause. As long as it gets a ...

Some Great Irish Jokes -- Dara Ward

The Irish are renowned for their quick wit and ability to even laugh at themselves. Below are a few favourite Irish jokes meant to be taken in the spirit they were written in. Paddy was with his ...

Irish Slang -- Jim

Hows it going? I am try to collect as much of the Irish slang phrases as possible. Would be interested to see if you lot can help me expand the list. Link: http://irishslang.blogspot.com/ Cheers, Jim

Euphemisms for Saying "I Don't Know" -- Jeanie Marshall

There are times when the perfect answer is, "I don't know." At those times, say precisely that, with confidence or authority. People ask questions for all different reasons. Sometimes it's ...

Twelve Simple Rules for Sucking Less Than 'Eight Simple Rules' -- Charlie Hatton

America is a country of sitcom watchers. We all like a nice chuckle now and again, but unfortunately the good shows are outnumbered, outgunned, overwhelmed, and often obliterated by the bad. In an ...

Humor - Tips for Using it in Talks and Speeches -- Cy Eberhart

There are many occasions when you can find yourself speaking to an audience. These can range from report to club members to a formal talk or lecture at a professional gathering . Whatever the ...

Funny Things We Dream -- Drew Vics

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now ...

Funny Sayings- Simply Bad Life Tips -- Boaz Ben Dov

Do you ever ask yourself why did I get out of bed today? Is this all there is to life? And where the hack I left my car keys? Don't despair; it's not too late to turn your life around! Well, ...

A French Teacher's Memories: How to Ride Poetry -- Gabrielle Guichard

I have a confession to make, I do not like poetry very much. As a part of my French teacher's job was to explain French poetry, I tended to dispose of this part in as few lessons as possible. Of ...

Sit and See -- Gabrielle Guichard

This afternoon, I passed a mother dragging her daughter by the hand. The girl was asking, or rather moaning: "Mom, where is the car?" Obviously, to have to walk a dozen paces in the parking lot ...

Using Spontaneous and Observational Humor -- John Kinde

An impromptu quip will hit the target more often than a canned joke. Imagine this. I arrive at a junior high school auditorium for a teacher inservice program. While setting up my session, I note two ...

Why Humor is Therapeutic (PLUS 10 Clean Jokes to Heal Everyone at the Thanksgiving Table) -- Brian Vaszily

Want an easy and genuinely fun way to feel great and gain real health benefits? Laugh. Laugh until your belly shakes. Laugh until it hurts. Have a good laugh as often as you can. We all know that ...

Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life -- Mike Moore

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy. 1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about ...

The Difference Between An Optimist And A Pessimist -- Saleem Rana

Optimist: There is nothing more important than feeling good. Pessimist: Come again? Didn't I just tell you how bad everything is Optimist: When you feel good you raise your vibrations. You get ...

A Deep Look At Soap Operas -- Randall Ulbricht

You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this ...

Even the Gods Laugh: How Humor Becomes Transformational -- Diane English

Most of our lives have become caught up in the dizzying stress, anxiety and self-created drama of the fast paced, twenty-first century. It was slower back in the 14th Century; I miss those days. Just ...

A CAT..... -- DR. MA.LOURDES MACKAY-PALCUTO(PHILIPPINES)

\-|"> This Cat, is Cat, a Cat, good Cat, way Cat, to Cat, keep Cat, an Cat, idiot Cat, busy Cat, for Cat,20 Cat, seconds Cat !... Now read it without the word Cat

THEY DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING... -- DR. MA.LOURDES MACKAY-PALCUTO(PHILIPPINES)

A sweet grandmother telephoned Makati Medical Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, ...

THE WHOLE TRUTH.... -- DR. MA.LOURDES MACKAY-PALCUTO(PHILIPPINES)

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you ...

I'll Get Up In Just A Minute -- Rudy Vener

Are you one of those people who wake up in the morning, fully refreshed and singing with happiness at the start of a bright new day? Well, most of us aren't. And frankly, we'd rather those of ...

It’s No Joke, Laughter is Awesome Medicine! -- Chad Ferguson

You go right ahead! Laugh and cackle to the point of losing your breath! Laughter has enormous amounts of health benefits ranging from affecting diabetes to lowering risks of heart attacks and ...

Joke: Cutting back on expenses -- George

My wife left me and I think I understand why. After I retired, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking Scotch. I was not a big drinker, maybe a quart on weekends. ...

No Nursing Home for Me (joke) -- Van

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in ...

Airplane joke -- Van

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. ...

Special Delivery! Tips for Improving Your Humor -- Tom Antion

Delivering humorous speeches involves a lot more than simply having good material. Take some time to incorporate these tips into your presentations and watch the fun and laughter factors rise. In Fun ...

Confessions of a Reality TV Junkie -- Susan Ryder

It all started with MTV's Real World, which I joined midway through the first season over thirteen years ago. There was something embarrassingly intriguing about watching the story of seven ...

Lose Your Job Now: 5 Tips to Get to Severance Heaven -- Gwendolyn A. Lee

You've schemed, you've scammed, you've plotted, but the elusive layoff has evaded you for the last time. Your desire to go to that spacious severance-package-in-the-sky needs to be ...

Learn English Laughing - Humor and Learning -- Frank Gerace

Humor is important in learning a language. Not only does it enable the student to learn new vocabulary in context but it also is a motivating force. When a student understands a joke she begins to ...

Let's Associate With Funny Stuff -- Cheng Guan, Kher

The two main phrases in comedy writing are: "what if" and "anything goes". They are catalysts for generating funny ideas. "What if" challenges your imagination and "anything goes" takes you beyond ...

Bumper Stickers Make a Statement -- Chris Robertson

If you've ever found yourself inching up on the car in front of you to read their bumper stickers, you're not alone. Bumper stickers are a means of proclaiming your views on life, politics, ...

Viking Trekkies -- J Square Humboldt

History weaves its influence into pop culture via many avenues ... One of the strangest is the Viking influence on Star Trek, especially The Next Generation. Ever since that series found the ...

MEN ARE HAPPIER -- man

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be ...

Do You Have a Good Sense of Humor? Take the Quiz -- Carla Rieger

Plato once said that “Life was meant to be lived as play.” When I ask audience members if they have a sense of humor, I usually get 25 per cent of the group raising their hands. Yet, when I tell a ...

Practical Jokes List -- Eric Head

1. The Ball Bearing In this practical joke, you take a small metal ball bearing and place it inside the hub cap of your victim's tire. When the victim gets in his car and begins to drive, the ...

Going Bonkers With Baubles, Berries & Bells -- Theolonius McTavish

Going Bonkers With Baubles, Berries & Bells --Or, Beware of BlackBerries, Cellphones and Laptops!-- If state-of-the-art "wireless technology" has given birth to such tawdry taskmasters as ...

12 Goofy Ways to Stay Safe and Healthy in Today's Hazardous World -- Joe Hickman

Stop breathing ozone immediately. You know you can if you try. Do not strike matches near an open nuclear power plant. Do not rub either your scalp or your bosom with the latest scientific ...

Special Delivery! Tips for Improving Your Humor -- Tom Antion

Delivering humorous speeches involves a lot more than simply having good material. Take some time to incorporate these tips into your presentations and watch the fun and laughter factors rise. In Fun ...

5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job -- Timothy Ward

Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at ...

Diary Complaints -- John Sammon

My wife keeps a diary, and sometimes leaves it open with the last entry in view on the coffee table. I'm a person who wouldn't want to read another person's diary, even my wife's, ...

Bat Ejection Techniques – Country Survival Course #27 -- Nola L. Kelsey

People lie! They lie about the bliss of rural relocation. They lie about the size of fish they catch. They lie about being there for you. But, mostly, they lie about bats! Such a silly thing, yet no ...

The Bare Truth About My Butt Quiz -- Timothy Ward

Forget about the SAT, never mind the FCAT, and remove forever from you mind any thoughts about the ACT. All these test pale in comparision to the examination that I just failed. Failing those test ...

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices -- Timothy Ward

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the ...

Holiday Eating tips -- MC

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're ...

A man and his ostrich -- noname

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" ...