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Turnoi - 2013-05-31
In response to Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? (John O'Shei)

Anyway, it's a tad pathetic that some of the other people on this board actually seem to boast about very able to pick up Chinese girls that are far younger than them, they aren't exactly a rare commodity.

Now, I feel a bit tempted to say something from a pastoral point of view: It is not uncommon that men "seemto boast about very able to pick up ... girls that are far younger than them", and the reasons for this kind of "boasting" seem to be manifold - certifying yourself that "you still can do it even when you get older", certifying yourself how good and manly you are despite your advanced age, etc. Deeply in their hearts, people like that may feel that time is running out for them, and it is one way to deal with it at psychological level. If so, that doesn't make them worse than any other people, and apart from that "boasting" they may be decent folks who work hard, have a fair sense for what is right and wrong etc.

In traditionally man-dominated societies - and as far as I know, most cultures in this world are, including the West - this seems to be typical manly "peer" talk, mostly in the absence of women. Women do not have to like it because they would feel uneasy about it and might see themselves reduced to objects of sexual targets rather than human beings in their dignity like men would claim the same for themselves apart from all this "sexist" talk.

A human's life does not only consist of sex, while on other the other hand it forms an integral part of it. If it was not like that, it would make your life rather empty and make you look dumb it everything in your life was only about sex - simply because it would be too one-sided in view of all the other aspects that life entails.

With respect to Western FTs in China, why for some of them sex seems to be such a central issue, one can only speculate. It may be because they do not have the family background that you need to have to adapt a balanced approach in this respect. Most of them are single individuals and haven't yet gotten to the point where they can be more balanced than those who are still on "the hunt".

"Balanced" here refers to a certain level of maturity in this respect, and I won't deal with it in the way of raising the finger of morality but would prefer to give some good advice instead leaving it to the person concerned to either taking or leaving it. This is what a good pastor/priest should do in pastoral counseling. And it reflects the approaches when I did my courses in Pastoral and Practical Theology while I was in training.

I say that sex is natural and God-given but it also should not control everything in your life. If it does, then something may be wrong.

Enough of the pastoral "grovelling weasel" talk..hehehe

Messages In This Thread
What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Dromeda -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Dromeda -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- MikeK -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-27
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Collyhurst retired sewage worker -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Collyhurst retired sewage worker -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Collyhurst retired sewage worker -- 2013-05-28
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- paulmartin -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Collyhurst Retired Sewer Worker -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- John O'Shei -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-01
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- John O'Shei -- 2013-06-03
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-06-02
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- John O'Shei -- 2013-06-03
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-03
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-06-03
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-04
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- John O'Shei -- 2013-06-04
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-06-05
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Dragonized -- 2013-06-03
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-06-01
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-01
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-06-01
Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Dragonized -- 2013-05-31
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-01
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Silverboy -- 2013-06-02
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-03
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Turnoi -- 2013-06-01
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-06-01
Re: Apparent "sex addiction"? -- Turnoi -- 2013-06-01
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-30
On elders, family and private matters -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: On elders, family and private matters -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Collyhurst retired sewer worker -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Turnoi -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-29
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Beelzebub -- 2013-05-30
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- Silverboy -- 2013-05-31
Re: What is/isn't acceptable in a EFL job? -- juanisaac -- 2013-05-28
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